Hope
October 16, 2009
Thought I’d share today’s sorbet here. I was stopped by the air this morning. Literally. I stopped with my Starbucks in hand and looked up. Inhaled. And wow….
Hope
The snow surprises the apple tree in the back yard — its leaves
still green. The snow had to work at finding the branches,
through the thickness of the leaves. Perhaps the snow was
surprised by all the green. The sparrows are still a secret
in this tree, enclosed by it until they perch on the bird-feeder.
The snow is not early, but earlier than we are used to. Out front, the lilies
and irises knew but weren’t ready. This morning they are sprawled
where they once stood. But they are still green. The cherry bush
is wilted. The willows don’t really care about snow. The gentians…
I don’t know where the gentians are. They ought to be here.
My father has begun to talk openly and freely about his funeral.
“If I should die before my time,” he says. Do people ever die
on time? Do we wake up in the morning and say to ourselves: Well,
I think it’s my time to die today. Or is there something hardwired into us that
screams “Live!” even if our brains offer up a contrary argument.
It’s nice to stand still in the snow at midnight. Just let it touch
where it wants, gather where it needs — let it fall past all that you can see.
You felt terribly alone this week. And in the middle of a snow storm,
weariness and sadness fell into you. But this morning, with the temperature
rising, and the snow disappearing, it smells like spring. It’s mid-October.
The air is reborn and fresh, and brilliant with hope.
I recently did an interview with Working Writers, and I rather like the way it turned out.
Also, God bless the Books on the Nightstand folks for this wonderful write-up.
4 Comments
1. deb had this to say: Oct 16, 2009 ~ 12:36 ~ #
Your dad’s choice of words caught me, before my time. I wonder when he thinks his time is. My patients, even the ones with dementia, they know when they are done, when it’s time to die. And it’s different for each person, for each soul.
2. thomas had this to say: Oct 16, 2009 ~ 15:00 ~ #
I stand corrected. Perhaps it is not such an odd thing to say —“If I should die before my time…” I guess I should go back to Kelly P. I think anytime is before my time except right at the time…Oh fear…
3. deb had this to say: Oct 16, 2009 ~ 16:30 ~ #
No, I think it was an odd choice for your dad. Dying’s tough, some accept it but many don’t until they don’t have a choice.
4. Mike Gravel had this to say: Oct 20, 2009 ~ 00:38 ~ #
A beautiful poem. “Let it touch where it wants…gather where it needs.” Great stuff here.