I Love Toronto: the Heinekens can be had for only a signature

Okay, Columbus here. Hola! I live in Trofimuk’s head. He and his entourage went to a sold out Heliconian Club reading tonight, here in Toronto. I stayed in the adjoining room and drank Heinekens all night. We’re 38 floors up….Jesus!!!! The view is fantastic. And room service is the most wonderful invention…and grand discovery for me. I call this number on the phone, and they bring me what ever I want!!!!! AND I DON’T PAY. I just sign my name!!!! Oh, the entourage? Ms Lara Hinchberger (Trofimuk’s McClelland & Stewart editor), Ms Hilary McMahon (Trofimuk’s agent), Ms. Ruta Liormonas (Publicity Manager, McClelland and Stewart), Cindy-Lou Trofimuk (The guy’s wife and frankly, the most interesting Trofimuk) and Mackenzie Trofimuk (the author’s daughter). Then, add Sheila Hawks. Hell of a group piled into the taxi-van.

Trofimuk stuck his head in the door and let me know that the Waiting for Columbus(or whatever it’s called) tour kicked ass tonight. 170 people ate the guy up. He kicked at the darkness until it bled daylight.

I just called Mingus Tourette (Mingis left the E-town for the T-town a couple years ago – got the machine, on which Mingus speaks only Latin. I have no freakin’ clue what the guy said. I left an obscene message. Told him to get his freakin’ ass over the hotel where the Heineken is brilliant and to be had for just a signature.

This is Columbus…..The sun is coming up and I must sleep.

1 Comment

1.  Mike Gravel had this to say:   Sep 17, 2009 ~ 14:48 ~ #

I would suggest caution before contacting Mr. Tourette for a drinking session. He is notorious for trashing hotel rooms and perpetrating broken-bottle mayhem, and I hesitate to mention his penchant for buggery. Fair warning.

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