On offending....and macho managers....and your summer reading list....
June 5, 2007
Y outhwrite head honcho Gail Sobat sent out a subtle warning to all her supervisors and teaching staff about personal websites, MySpace sites, and other web presences like blogs. “Parents will search you out,” she said. “They’ll check you out.” I’m a parent. I’d certainly do this if my kiddo was going to a camp for a week!!! Well, I went into mental re-run of everything I’ve posted here. My head started to spin! Oh my God! What have I written that might offend? What impression does my website leave? Would I send my daughter to a class taught by this guy? So, I came here and went over some of my posts and yes, I would send my daughter to my own class. In fact, she may sit in one or two...If you're interested in Youthwrite, an incredible immersion into all aspects of writing and creating, for kids aged 12-14, and 15-18 go here.
It’s an odd question: Who might I have offended? Part of me doesn’t give a rat’s ass. Part of me thinks of the manager at Pack Rat Louie’s who e-mailed me that he was deeply offended by a poem I wrote that was inspired by a glimpse of one of his waitresses. He thought it was some sort of sexual fantasy about his waitress. It was nothing of the sort, but no amount of persuading could get him to see the poem differently. He flipped into ultra-macho defense mode and kept his mind and his eyes shut throughout our back-and-forth failed discussion. All interpretations of art are misinterpretations. So, I hope the Pack Rat Louie manager is well, and happy, and managing. In the end, I just had to stop banging my head against the wall. Accept his reading as his reading. But his misinterpretation of my poem, his twisting it into something perverted and dark, hurt me somehow. I got angry. Had a strong emotional reaction. And in the end, turned inward. Tried to figure out why I was reacting so strongly to this manager, who for all I know, could have a PhD in literary criticism. Put my own ego under the bright lights for a few hours....Made me question what it is I am doing with the sorbets and with this website. Made me want to write better poems. I want to move through this life carefully, with gentleness and compassion. Sometimes I fail at this.
Mordecai Richler likely would have told the guy that it's a damned good thing he doesn't have to read in order to be a manager.
Point is, having any opinion is going to offend somebody, or some group, somewhere. And writing a poem, or a story is a risky business, because you're going to offend someone. But I think I would rather offend than provoke indifference.
I got great news from Mr. Evan O., the books editor at the lovely, provocative, sleek and intelligent Alberta Views magazine. My review of Gail Sobat’s The Book of Mary will likely run in the July issue. Good! It’s a great book and deserves to be out there in a lot of hands this summer. I could not think of a better summer read – given that you’ve already read Doubting Yourself to the Bone. The ideal one-two punch!!!
Stay tuned for a full recommended summer reading list....
Namaste
5 Comments
1. ink slinger had this to say: Jun 05, 2007 ~ 22:13 ~ #
I’ve been meaning to pick up The Book of Mary for a while now. The concept is intriguing, and potentially humorous. I’d sort of forgotten about it, though, until you mentioned it here.
As far as causing offense and misinterpretations of art, well, I understand the strong emotional reaction to another person’s misinterpretation of your work.
I had an “incident” about a year (or two?) ago where I was accused of being a misogynist as a result of a misinterpretation of a poem that, really, was quite the opposite of misogynistic (at least, that was the intent). In my case, though, I think it had more to do with the offended person turning off their ears at the mention of a certain four-letter word early on in the piece. I wonder if they’d have reacted differently had they read the piece, rather than simply heard it performed.
The point is that I got quite riled up about it, as did a few other people. In the end, I had to step back and stop arguing. As you said, if you have an opinion, you’re going to offend someone. As it specifically relates to art, I think, to a certain degree, if you offend someone, you’re doing something right.
2. Anita had this to say: Jun 06, 2007 ~ 04:34 ~ #
Two of my favourite books of last year mentioned in the same entry!
Thomas, I’ll say it again, Doubting Yourself to the Bone is a stunningly beautiful book that stays with you. Whenever I see a monk in a red robe, I think of it…and mountains, and healing, and puzzles, and perservering. So many things. It is tops on my recommendation list.
I don’t believe I’ve ever offended anyone with one of my books. I’m nearing the end of my next. Perhaps it’s not too late to throw something in.
3. Thomas had this to say: Jun 06, 2007 ~ 08:33 ~ #
Adam,
I should count my blessings that the guy wasn’t indifferent. Indifference is the killer. I moved him. In a way I’d not intended….in a way I found offensive, but still. He pulled what he could out of the piece and that was it. He stopped. Heard nothing. Saw nothing. Puffed up his chest and protected his “girls”.
Anita,
You are a sweetheart.
I’m going to send out the call through the sorbet list, for suggestions of great summer reads…..Can I add your latest three, or four? Can you remind me of your baby’s names?
On offending…...don’t worry, your work already offends somebody, somewhere. The trick is, I think, NEVER apologize for your work. If they don’t like it, they should write and publish something better. Not our job to explain our writing. Only our job to write it.
4. Anita had this to say: Jun 06, 2007 ~ 09:36 ~ #
Wise words, Thomas, you are right. A summer reading list --terrific! When you post it, may I repost it on my blog, and invite others to add to it? Glorious summer time…my fall book will be in edit stage, and I will relax at the cabin (three whole weeks booked!), and read.
Hugs,
a
p.s. My YA just out is Spider’s Song, and the juvenile adventure is Racing for Diamonds :-)
p.p.s. Interesting…I see “a summer reading list” above has a line through it. Ah well.