Ten things about “my” Christopher Columbus
October 7, 2009
Ten things, in no particular order, about “my” Christopher Columbus.
ONE) He’s the flawed delusion of a profoundly damaged fictitious character in a book called “Waiting for Columbus.”
— I’m sorry? Did you say flawed? I am not flawed. Driven, maybe. Obsessed, for sure. Foolish, perhaps a bit. Brilliant, charming, fascinating — certainly. But flawed? Never!
— Let’s not forget humble, Columbus. Can I continue? Please?
TWO) He’s ronin – adrift at sea, tossed by the waves – lost, an outcast, an outlaw and a bit of a renegade.
— I, Christopher Columbus, am never lost. And by the way, what does “ronin” mean?
— (Sigh) A samurai who has renounced his clan or who had been discharged or ostracized and has become a wanderer without a lord; an outcast; an outlaw — a bit of a renegade.
THREE) He’s tired this morning.
— Why am I tired?
— Because you stayed up late watching Letterman. You couldn’t sleep. You drank too much.
— That’s it?
— That’s enough.
FOUR) He’s hiding from himself in the 15th century.
— How does one hide from one’s self?
— You avoid facing anything difficult. You avoid your pain by being busy with a fictitious life. You…
— …I get the picture.
FIVE) He can’t play chess. He only pretends to be brilliant. He knows a couple tricks that give the impression that he’s good. Chipmunks could beat him at any game of chess on any given Wednesday.
SIX) He will stand outside in the back yard and wait for snow. He will stand there broken-hearted with his eyes at the grey sky, and wait for it to snow. It will be after midnight. The cat won’t even want to come out with him. The strong humid cold snow scent will permeate the air and this will cause joy in him despite the condition of his useless heart.
— What are you talking about? This isn’t me! This isn’t about me. It must be you!
— Not me, Mr. Columbus. You, you, you…
— Does it even snow at all in Spain? Anywhere? How could this be about me?
SEVEN) He doesn’t really care what you think about him. He’s 50 years old. He is only concerned with kindness, compassion, being a decent human being. He will not hurt you.
— I’m not 50!?!? What are you talking about here? What’s going on? This isn’t about me and it’s supposed to be about me! The title is: Ten things about CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS!!!! Hello?!? Are you…
— …Oh shut the f—k up Columbus. Just go with it.
— But…
—…seriously. Not in the mood.
—…but
—Yip.
—…buh…
—…Zip!
EIGHT) He is a fabrication of the writer Thomas Trofimuk. He does not live outside the mind of the writer.
— Oh, isn’t that all Buddhist of you. All of reality is in the mind.
— Yours certainly is.
— And does that make it any less real?
NINE) He’s an asshole on oh so many levels.
— Name calling? You’re the writer, for Christ’s sake!!! You’re supposed to be above name calling. I mean, I’m from you, in you, part of you…Isn’t this self abuse?
— No comment.
— Hello? Mr. Writer? Where’s number TEN? What happened to number ten? Are you there? This is your list, Mr. Writer. You said TEN. Don’t you think you ought to deliver ten? Hello? Are you there? Don’t make me finish this list for you. I am fully capable of finishing what you started. I’m a round, fully flushed out character. I have desires and I know who I am. I can make my own decisions. I will write number ten if you don’t step up and finish what you started. Watch me, Mr. Trofimuk. Just watch me…
—Hello?
—Hello?
2 Comments
1. Elena Ray had this to say: Oct 18, 2009 ~ 15:36 ~ #
‘Muk
I’m getting excited because I’m gonna find out about him soon-we are going on our rd trip to the forest and I can READ READ READ. Just wanted to let you know I was in Barnes and Noble a few days ago and saw Waiting for Columbus on the new fiction table in the front of the store (((sitting on the same table with Paulo Coelho and Margaret Atwood Mr Big time ) LoVe, Elena
2. Elena Ray had this to say: Oct 29, 2009 ~ 16:57 ~ #
!!! I LoVed Columbus and it was worth the wait! Okay and yes being in the novel was such a special thrill-I loved my character and that we even got to make out! (I am assuming you are Columbus.) It was beautiful how you slowed the tempo when she spoke, and it touched me Thomas truly touched me that it was the transitional point for his metaphysical journey at sea.
I really liked so much the juxtaposition of historical imagery with modern items. You managed it in a way that it works perfectly and feels good. I can see why Hollywood glommed onto the book. You’re writing strongly placed many pictures in my head.
Hmm, I won’t say anymore don’t want to ruin anything for your readers. It was a beautiful read Thomas Thank You thank You for being Thomas (((just like Columbus decided he must be Columbus whatever the consequences. Very original work.
Love,
e,