2008•07•11 ~ This niece turns thirty
If she had asked, I might have said – carry on doing what you’re doing. I would probably have said something glib, like – always wear sunscreen, or, buy low, sell high. Or, dance like an idiot, always. Never use semi-colons – they’re snooty and difficult and as the writer, atheist, humanist, Kurt Vonnegut said: “They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.”
But my almost-niece doesn’t ask for my counsel, which is a good thing because I don’t know how to do anything but write stories, in which there is a lot of drinking and breasts. But I might have said; don’t worry about turning thirty. You see, she turns thirty tomorrow and is having a party, which I will attend instead of going to see James Taylor sing and play guitar (James Taylor already turned 30 and he never cooks for me.) I might have grunted at her and said: Man-up, for Christ’s sake. It’s a friggin’ number. Your life is good.
Really, all the numbers are good. I recently turned a number – a nice even number about twenty more than her puny little number. Even this huge number, is really, no big deal. It’s nice to be alive. Even though we are, with our petrochemical-addition-gone-mad, killing the planet, it is nice to be alive. On the occasion of my two-score anniversary, a friend told me; Don’t waste this decade, it’ll fly by. I published three books, fathered a daughter, and married a woman with prairie honesty. So that’s good advice, too. When our daughter was born, I swore I’d pay attention – not let the years slip by without noticing the little things. But raising kids is not a sprint; it’s a marathon in which you must always have hope of winning, even if the other runners are so far ahead you can’t recall what they look like anymore. So far, so good.
I appreciate this niece; for her kindness, her huge heart, her growth – thank god she’s been growing – and for her cooking. She comes to our house and cooks (Not as often as I’d like). While I am eating I will often think, as Kurt Vonnegut's Uncle Alex used to say: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.” Her food brings me into the moment; it’s that good (Has anybody noticed how many semicolons are in this piece? – I hope you are all impressed). If she didn’t have a good job, I’d encourage her to become a chef – in fact; I’m going to do it anyway: Quit your job. Apply at the Sorbonne in Paris. Become the best chef you can be. But mostly, I want to encourage you, young woman, to simply notice when you are happy and, in a nod to Vonnegut, whisper under your breath: “If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.”
5 Comments
1. deb had this to say: Jul 11, 2008 ~ 23:36 ~ #
Excellent advice and congrats on the book selling so well. Say hi to Cindy Lu for me, I have a crush on your wife:)
2. Benjamin had this to say: Jul 12, 2008 ~ 01:29 ~ #
Thomas, I saw someone reading your book on the bus the other day. I went up to him and said, “I know him!” He replied, “Huh?” and got off the bus.
I’m going to miss the raving poets while I’m Vancouver, but even so. Keep blog posting, because they’re always wonderful.
3. thomas had this to say: Jul 12, 2008 ~ 11:56 ~ #
Deb, Ha, I too have a crush on my wife…though there are days…when I’d prefer to be five-days into the mountains with crappy food, a pack that’s way too heavy, and no wife within a hundred kilometres, and no cell service…Today, is not one of those days. That special group of women you have around you is very important…
Benjamin,
No matter where you go, you’ll always be a Raving Poet. It’s like making a choice to love someone. Once you choose to love, you’re fucked — it never goes away.
That is so cool that you saw somebody reading one of my books! I’ve almost completed the Columbus at 4AM revisions…
4. Malcolm had this to say: Jul 16, 2008 ~ 07:31 ~ #
Hey Thomas,
Good call on raising kids being a “marathon.” I have three boys under nine years old, and I think I’ve hit the wall! (They should make a special Gatorade for depleted parents.)
And thanks for the sage advice at CanWrite and for being a cool dude. I sent a few chapters of Winning Aurelia off to Hilary. Now I wait and write.
Loved the Bone, loved the band. Am now considering a career as a professional Thomas Trofimuk groupie.
Cheers, my man!
5. Thomas had this to say: Jul 16, 2008 ~ 09:28 ~ #
Malcolm,
My daughter is seven and I’ve been tired for eight years. I can’t imagine three kids! I wish I’d had more time to just “hang out” at the conference but the book revisions and other commitments kept me hopping.
“Winning Aurelia” is such a fine title! Let me know how it goes.
Namaste
t